tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109813929046981310.comments2009-11-07T14:17:32.387-08:00Ultimately Sweet Ending.Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07575490415602033298noreply@blogger.comBlogger29125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109813929046981310.post-67411034654050927832009-11-07T14:17:32.387-08:002009-11-07T14:17:32.387-08:00Pretty good. A few spelling errors, but we are hum...Pretty good. A few spelling errors, but we are human so that's okay. There was one thing though, towards the end you said she stood up and then a views lines later you said that she stood up, when she was already standing. But otherwise that's all. Very good. Keep writing!<br /><br />~Lindsay<br />JABALindsay :)https://www.blogger.com/profile/11761405396342044349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109813929046981310.post-72448970773004326342009-11-03T19:45:35.312-08:002009-11-03T19:45:35.312-08:00I have been keeping up to see if you have posted a...I have been keeping up to see if you have posted anything. Very understandable about being busy. School bites lately. But anyway, I would like to hear more. =)<br /><br />~Lindsay<br />JABALindsay :)https://www.blogger.com/profile/11761405396342044349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109813929046981310.post-19287595175192048362009-10-19T00:44:53.029-07:002009-10-19T00:44:53.029-07:00Its a little confusing, but good.Its a little confusing, but good.ObsessiveReaderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15768624080866422656noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109813929046981310.post-13066978003594236442009-09-21T17:33:06.543-07:002009-09-21T17:33:06.543-07:00I know it seems fast now. I sort of intended it to...I know it seems fast now. I sort of intended it to be that way, believe it or not. But, i think once I reach the intededed conflict of these star crossed lover's story then it should make more sense...Andreahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07575490415602033298noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109813929046981310.post-83391003187502415552009-09-13T16:35:30.521-07:002009-09-13T16:35:30.521-07:00I think its too fast. They already want to be toge...I think its too fast. They already want to be together a lot? hmm, maybe its just me. But I do like it. I just think its too fast that they already want to be together all the time.Lindsay :)https://www.blogger.com/profile/11761405396342044349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109813929046981310.post-87135565795660591302009-08-29T22:08:58.389-07:002009-08-29T22:08:58.389-07:00Thanks, glad you keep coming back for more =]Thanks, glad you keep coming back for more =]Andreahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07575490415602033298noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109813929046981310.post-81796751277625156862009-08-29T11:06:49.450-07:002009-08-29T11:06:49.450-07:00It was great! Can't wait for more. I know what...It was great! Can't wait for more. I know what you mean about school!<br /><br />~LindsayLindsay :)https://www.blogger.com/profile/11761405396342044349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109813929046981310.post-56872079644051127582009-08-25T19:26:29.115-07:002009-08-25T19:26:29.115-07:00Very nice start to your story. Hope you get publis...Very nice start to your story. Hope you get published one day : DAnAddictedBookReaderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01717926804128395432noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109813929046981310.post-17572864773898140322009-08-18T17:51:09.475-07:002009-08-18T17:51:09.475-07:00Your welcome! I enjoy reading what you have writte...Your welcome! I enjoy reading what you have written so far. Like I said, I can't wait for the next one.<br /><br />~LindsayLindsay :)https://www.blogger.com/profile/11761405396342044349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109813929046981310.post-34699072392064415582009-08-18T17:01:41.318-07:002009-08-18T17:01:41.318-07:00Wow, thanks for the corrections. Greatly appreciat...Wow, thanks for the corrections. Greatly appreciated! My computer's acting a little funky and isn't underlining miss spellings. But, really thanks for the suggestions! It means a lot, and you're a close reader!Andreahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07575490415602033298noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109813929046981310.post-32311516813324813972009-08-18T09:21:33.496-07:002009-08-18T09:21:33.496-07:003rd paragraph, 5 lines from the bottom: you have: ...3rd paragraph, 5 lines from the bottom: you have: Just c'mon now cheater.<br />now shouldn't be in there, right?<br />Wouldn't it sound better as, Just c'mon cheater.<br /><br />I LOVE apples and peanut butter!!<br /><br />5th para, 27 lines from top: you have:<br />This menus is Talia<br />menus?? Do you mean menace? Like Dennis the Menace?<br />A few lines down: heard monitor<br />you meant heart monitor? <br /><br />Last para, few lines from the bottom, change kissed to kiss.<br /><br />Other than that, you did great! I am liking the story and I can't wait for the next chapter.Lindsay :)https://www.blogger.com/profile/11761405396342044349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109813929046981310.post-88283488718135213082009-08-15T13:51:48.697-07:002009-08-15T13:51:48.697-07:00I'm glad you like it so far. It's good to ...I'm glad you like it so far. It's good to know you like Ry's character as well. I was going for that loveable guy thing! Good to know you're reading still. Thanks so much!Andreahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07575490415602033298noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109813929046981310.post-25630512878424408242009-08-15T10:12:38.825-07:002009-08-15T10:12:38.825-07:00I really like it and I'm anticipating more. I ...I really like it and I'm anticipating more. I love Ryland's character! <br /><br />~LindsayLindsay :)https://www.blogger.com/profile/11761405396342044349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109813929046981310.post-12943296526866341242009-08-11T21:06:42.786-07:002009-08-11T21:06:42.786-07:00That's just a twist in the story, it's par...That's just a twist in the story, it's part of what make's up a major part later. You'll have to keep reading =] Glad you like it.Andreahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07575490415602033298noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109813929046981310.post-69563785964114296082009-08-11T16:38:41.705-07:002009-08-11T16:38:41.705-07:00Liking it so far. But why is she lying to her best...Liking it so far. But why is she lying to her best friend? Or will it come out later?Lindsay :)https://www.blogger.com/profile/11761405396342044349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109813929046981310.post-61895861359803622942009-08-11T07:57:56.484-07:002009-08-11T07:57:56.484-07:00hey girly! wow.. thats a very nice start to a book...hey girly! wow.. thats a very nice start to a book! here are my suggestions.. whatch your short sentences.. i know what poin youre trying to prove.. Elaina (which in my middle name!!! :) haha) is angry and when were angry we speak in short, pithy sentences. so i gotcha there ;] also just silly grammar mistakes.. like "i was AN ultimatly sweet ending" but yeah.. i loved it.. im acctually writing my own book now too.. maybe i should start a blog??? haha well comment me on PulseIT.. thanks for reading my poem!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109813929046981310.post-44640468281356665782009-08-09T13:58:17.824-07:002009-08-09T13:58:17.824-07:00I wasn't trying to trying to over shadow Ry an...I wasn't trying to trying to over shadow Ry and Elaina's little fling at the park. So, I hope that wasn't what happened for the readers. I want everyone who reades this to enjoy it, so I love hearing commens and opinions. Thanks for reading, y'all. I will make my writing more of a personal thing. Remeber, I love hearing your guys opinions.Andreahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07575490415602033298noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109813929046981310.post-37773056520224620612009-08-08T20:45:59.075-07:002009-08-08T20:45:59.075-07:00The thing with her mom was apart of their moment?
...The thing with her mom was apart of their moment?<br />Don't be sorry for writing what you want to write. It's YOUR story to write. Remember that.Lindsay :)https://www.blogger.com/profile/11761405396342044349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109813929046981310.post-21621167987752456362009-08-07T09:39:05.600-07:002009-08-07T09:39:05.600-07:00Thank you for the comment! You're right, I jus...Thank you for the comment! You're right, I just have to take the time to organize the work better. So, it's a will do next time. Thanks again!Andreahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07575490415602033298noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109813929046981310.post-83781031616723459582009-08-06T21:37:11.004-07:002009-08-06T21:37:11.004-07:00I am liking it. I think you are doing a great job....I am liking it. I think you are doing a great job. Paragraphs would be great, though. I know you just got back from your trip and were probably just excited to get it all out that you forgot to hit enter and then indent. =) I think if it keeps going like it is, it could be a novel. I'll be waiting for what comes next.Lindsay :)https://www.blogger.com/profile/11761405396342044349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109813929046981310.post-68819312414685237062009-07-30T19:38:04.897-07:002009-07-30T19:38:04.897-07:00Thank you, I'm really trying hard. And, I'...Thank you, I'm really trying hard. And, I'm glad you're enjoying them! If you know anyone looking for a good read I'd love it if you sent the link to this to them.Andreahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07575490415602033298noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109813929046981310.post-10651867650815984402009-07-30T17:24:23.647-07:002009-07-30T17:24:23.647-07:00thanks, it means alot. I've worked so hard on ...thanks, it means alot. I've worked so hard on this story and it's good to know it's paying off. if you ever post your stuff up I would love to read it =]Andreahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07575490415602033298noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109813929046981310.post-60543260532156577002009-07-30T16:58:00.099-07:002009-07-30T16:58:00.099-07:00it was definately interesting. Your good at writin...it was definately interesting. Your good at writing. Don't give up, I'm trying to write a book myself.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109813929046981310.post-66024947713989830112009-07-30T09:38:56.841-07:002009-07-30T09:38:56.841-07:00I do think that they are developing well. They are...I do think that they are developing well. They are both lonely and emotional. It wasn't boring at all. I'm eagarly waiting for the Chapter 8Lindsay :)https://www.blogger.com/profile/11761405396342044349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109813929046981310.post-52859341533718813922009-07-30T09:37:17.498-07:002009-07-30T09:37:17.498-07:00It's still gong GREAT! Can't wait for Chap...It's still gong GREAT! Can't wait for Chapter 8.<br />Just one thing: Don't doubt yourself. This is good. Just keep going.Lindsay :)https://www.blogger.com/profile/11761405396342044349noreply@blogger.com