I rolled over on my down comforter which had been tossed all over my bed. I think it was a hundred degrees. I was moving back and forth just struggling. I was no where near nodding land, and there was no where I was going to sleep anytime soon. Was I sweating? I think so, and I couldn't sleep in the near future. I got up to look at my thermostat. 69 degrees. Far colder than the rest of the house. I continued by looking down at my phone and clicking the main menu. Prompted by the slide bar, I did as I was told. A fat 3:38 was staring back at me. Emilee was asleep. Breathing lightly and she was probably off in a dreamland I only wished of. I thought of my options at that moment. I could walk down to the kitchen, grab some thing to snack on or just get fresh air. But, that risked me either setting the security alarm off or having to see my mom. I was having a hard time deciding which was worse. So, I simply got up and grabbed my guitar. My get away wrapped in a wood casing. I hadn't played since Ryland came around. I wish I had though, but I truly needed to. I figured no one was outside at this time. And the park wasn't too far. I practically grew up there anyway from swings to flings. So, inspiration was evident there. I just grabbed my worn down sheep skin boots and a sweatshirt. I looked in my bathroom mirror. The silk sleeping shorts, a Franklin Crew Team hooded sweatshirt, messed up hair, and boots was a interesting look, for sure. But, who cared? No one I needed to impress was anywhere near me this at three a.m. adventure.
I just took my balcony steps out of the yard. I grabbed the gate handle and looked down at the black metal. No one would be out, right? So with my guitar strapped over my shoulder, I just strummed some old pieces. Em and I used to write songs. With the basic cords of course, we always said we'd travel the world and be famous celebs and name our kids Pot and Pan, like classic best friends. It was a fantasy I wasn't sure would ever come true. We had just began to spread apart lately, and I didn't want that. But, my guitar kept those thoughts from easier times away from me. The acoustic love felt warm. Pouring over me like a hot bath. Almost like an old shoe you found in the back of your closet. Fitted. Perfectly. Safe.
I approached the park. No one. Not a soul. I didn't think any one would be here, but the satisfaction of being alone was just southing. I strummed my fingers over the worn strings. I just stopped and looked down. Thinking about nothing else but Ryland, wasn't good karma for my guitar playing. I was battling over the ever so present question was why am I so mad.Why had I let him get close to me. I just felt like I had trusted him. Even for a short period. I barely had gotten to know him. Just the personal family junk, I guess, couldn't that have been enough? And we had kissed on my bed! A little intimate. But, why did I feel like I had missed out on something. Why did I feel like a kid who didn't get what they wanted for Christmas? But more often than not, I couldn't say I felt this down often about anything. It was all for the one guy who ran out on me. See? There it was right there. I didn't know him, how I wished I did anyways, and I felt like he owed me something more. But still, why?
I looked up from my train of thought to see a dark figure moving towards me. How peachy. Of course it was me, that was just my luck. Fear began to set in and I took a deep breath to attempt a calm down before a panic storm arose. I looked over to see a guy walking towards me. Great. If I was going to be kidnapped or something worse, at least I had my guitar for protection. What was I thinking? I was in the beginning of a freak out. I stood up and started to fast walk. A slight jog was forming. "Elaina, wait. Please!" That voice. The rustic smooth voice. Ryland. No. I was not doing that now. I just turned back around and slowed the walk down. Almost as if I wanted him to catch me. "Elaina, please. Just listen." He begged. ""How did you find me here? Stalking me, again. Because I'm not up for you to just run away now?" I asked. Concerned and just done, or so I thought. ""Just look. that's not it at all. And I was outside too. Sort of an insomniac, I guess. But, I was walking, um, by your house. Heard the guitar. And came here. I'm, I just. I don't know. And, there's just something, but. You know more about my family than nearly anyone, at all. But there's more to me that you don't know." ""And you think that will just make me forgive you? ""No, I'm not saying that. At all. I just wish that-" ""Wish what Ryland? That you could of ran out earlier? I could of understood if you had to go, and I didn't think we were going to stay forever together and live happily ever after. But, running out?" "'No El, that's not it." ""El. Don't call me that." Why was I so mad? All my feelings were just pouring out. All I could think of was when Mom used to call me El when I was little and would push me in the swings, bake cookies, teach me tennis, all while referring to me as El or Ellie. A mother thing. I guess. ""I'm sorry, but. I really am attracted to you," Now standing near me. About an arm length. Attracted did I just heard that? He was attracted to me. Were my knees a little weak? Was I blushing? I just wanted to be back in my room at that moment. The feelings of anger sort of left. That moment was just melting and playing out perfectly like an ice cream cone on a hot July day. I was beginning to let myself go there again. Dig up the hatchet and find those feelings I just discarded. "But, Elaina. It's just, I can't avoid you. I know that. But, there's something. I just couldn't be with you. You know that. Your life, luxuries and cars can't even start to compare to my family that's lives nothing compared to you. And I'm your employee. Isn't there some rich girl thing about even talking to a guy like me? You have to get that. And understand. Can't you?" I thought of what he said. I looked around. At the street lights. With the flies swarming around the lights. Did he think I was like in love with him or something? Who was he to sit there and judge me like I was some stereotypical snob? ""No, Ryland. I can't understand. Because I thought you listened and I get you don't know too much about me personally, maybe my siblings, but not me. But, you could get from talking to me for, eh, five fucking seconds, that I wasn't like that. And you just sit there and accuse me. Yes, Ryland I do like you. And Yes, it could work out if you didn't want that just say it." With that statement I turned on my heels. Only to be pulled back into his arms. Greeted by a kiss. Absolutely wonderful. He's just the one who knows when to go at it. It was a heel popping kiss. The kind you would never forget. Why was I here setting myself for anger and frustration again? But I couldn't stand to move away. This was where I could control. And I hoped this was for the best. I pushed away off of Ryland's chest. And laid my head down on his shoulder and wrapped my arms around his neck. Breathing slow and thinking about how this moment couldn't last forever. Even if I tried. We walked hand in hand back to my balcony. Talking about what I thought was ourselves. ""When I was seven, I started playing rugby." Ryland started "It kept me from being to upset like the whole only child thing which really bothered me. Like therapy type stuff, and I really loved it from the start. I couldn't wait to get to high school to be on the team. But when I was eleven, my mom used the in vitro, and got pregnant. Which I was happy about. But she found out it was six. Six babies. It was unbelievable. We were being interviewed. The newspapers called after her check ups. It was like we were famous. Locally at least. But when she had the babies. And she, uh, died," He was breathing hard. Troubled memories I thought. I just stroked the side of his hand, as I held it tight. "My dad couldn't pay the bills. The kids were just so sick. So small. He had to sell his practice. He was a foot doctor. Sort of weird, but we were happy. So, that's how I got here," Ryland said as he looked around my yard. Where we had magically arrived. ""Well, we'll have to continue this later." I said hoping he wanted the same. "Well, we'll have to see." Ryland said kissing the tip of my nose. I felt butterflies floating around my stomach. I was happy. The guitar walk had ended happily. His answer was a little indefinite, but I knew what he had meant, or I thought and hoped I did. ""Okay, well this was fun." I said blushing "But, Em's inside and I gotta get inside. Cuz it's going to be a little early when we get up." ""So, um I'll get going...unless you want to give me something." Ryland said hinting. ""Well here's a hug." I smiled and hugged him. "Okay, well now I'm really going." I said heading up the stairs. I couldn't believe that I had gone from an almost abysmal hatred of a guy I barely knew, to a re kindling of an attraction to a better understanding. Or what I thought was.
Liking it? Let me know please by commenting. I'm trying so hard, and I really want to know your thoughts and feelings. Think it could be a future novel or just a short story? I've got some twists coming. Only one person knows and the same person gave me some inspiration. They know who they are. So, I'd like to thank them =] Thank you all though, for taking the time to read this!