Saturday, August 29, 2009

Finally, Chapter 14!

As I ran to the car, a quick race with Ry, we backed out of the drive way and zoomed off, obviously not following the speed limit. I turned and looked at him. For the first time, I clearly noticed the find nooks, crannies, valleys, and hills of his face. A tired one at that. A classic worry line across his forehead. Lines of squinting, small crow's feet danced around his eyes. A little constalation of small yet noticeable freckles appeared on his nose and cheeks. The laugh lines around his mouth showing the happiness he found in his life. Not making him sound like a wrinkly old prune, but Ryland's face told a story. A story of a journey. That he had begun in previous years, and would be on for the rest of his life.
"Hello? Mrs. Day Dream? Anybody home?" My obvious train of thought was interuped by Ryland waving a hand, which not being used for driving, in my face. ""Yeah, I'm here. Sorry." Was all I could say back. I didn't want to bring the night down, but Ryland had been through, truly, a lot in his life. "So, where we going?" I said to Ry, hoping to bring the mood up a bit. ""I was going to suprise you, but that would require putting on the blind fold that I left in my grandmothers kitchen... So I don't think that's in the works. You've got two opitions though. Or, I mean you can pick too. But, I was thinking two things. If, that is, you want to know what I was thinking." Ryland ranted twoards me. He knew it wouldn't matter to me. But, I just thought a second. Where would any other date take me to a late dinner. Steak houses, Italian bistros, Japanese sushi places. But, with Ryland I would be happy just hopping through a drive-thru. And sharing an extra large order of fries. However, I didn't want Ryland to think he had to impress me. I mean, he obviously didn't becaues he took me to his grandmothers, right? What am I saying? This is his way of being super sweet, and I appreciated it. I left the silence hang heavy in the air, like a thick grey fog. Until I knew what to say. ""Yeah, Ry. What ever you want. I don't care." Not the sweet and adorable answer I wanted to give him. More of a mopy dud date. Perfect, he's probably pissed. I just looked out the window. Hoping he didn't notice me.
We were pulling into the gas station of the local quick stop gas station. Maybe he was just filling the gas tank. Yeah, that's what I thought he was doing. Until he came and opened up my side of the car. "Come on. I have an idea." He told me. A little more excited than I thought. Not to sound like a priss, but I had always had been afraid of gas stations. They're known to be notriously dirty, and the people you'll run into inside one. Like I said, I didn't want to sound mean, but I just don't like gas stations. I looked over at Ry. He was so excited to be going inside the gas station. I mean, what was his deal? Was he out of gum, needed to, I hate to even think this, use the bath room, wanted a slurpee? We reached the door, which I, graciously, allowed Ry to open. No way I was touching that. But his smile, so alluring. I was willing to atleast give this a shot. "So my friend from the team is the manager here. Yeah shitty job. We won't get in trouble for this. But here's the game," Ryland began, handing me a ten dollar bill as he did continued. "We've each got ten dollars. You've cooked for yourself, or watched a chef cook, your whole life. As have I. We're going to run around this place. Getting the cream of the crop ingredients. Picking out the most, let's say, orignial ideas. You've gotta pick out your stuff. Then pay for it. All under ten dollars remember? They've got mircowaves. Hot places. And a fridge. Then, we're cooking a meal for each other. Who ever finishes first, gives the loser a kiss. Deal?" He was so excited. How could I turn that down? ""You're on." Short and sweet. Easy enough response. I ran through the aisles. What could I possibly cook here? I didn't see Ryland any where. Where had he gone? It wasn't what I needed to worry about now. I stormed around. and found my answer. I looked down at the shiny case of bagles. A breakfast sandwich. One of the only things I knew how to cook. I ran over grabbed the eggs. Cheese. Ketchup. And mirowaveable sausage. Not my best, but it would be good for today. I also grabbed a childs size carton of orange juice. A complete meal now. This was quite the convience store they've got. Put the bagle and crew on the counter and paid. A total of seven-forty. Pefect. I took the eggs over the hot plate. I've never fried an egg on a hot plate before, so this would be an experiance. After about eight minutes of an atempt to fry the egg, it was a little burnt, but the sandwhich wouldn't suffer. I toasted the bagle, put the egg, ketchup, sausage which I mircowaved twice before I got it right, and cheese. Grabbed a napkin and the O.J. and walked my sandwich over to Ry. "Here you go sir. Looks like I finished first." I looked down at the set up Ryland had made. Not a gas station feast, but a steak dinner. Candle light and all. In a gas station, but it was heart felt. I sat down and stared at him. "You cheated." ""It's for you. I mean, I used my allowence, but this is for you. But I still want your sand which. But, eat with me El. Please?" ""Of course I will." The dinner was adorable. Ry got me to cook so he could pick up our dinner. And yes, we were eating in the corner of the shop, near the drink section. But it was so cute. I couldn't help it. Our night was filled with converstaion. Blurps of our lives, funny stories, and laughter. I had hated gas stations at the beginning of the night, but now, I loved them. As the night ended. We had to leave the gas station, closing time. I felt a pain of saddness come over me. I didn't want to leave him.
As we were driving home. I could feel Ry trying to make some conversation, turning down the music, the whole nine yards. I didn't want to talk thought, I felt sad I didn't want to talk. I was upset. He was beginning to huff and puff, frustration filling up the car. I just wanted this night to not end. It was perfect. Besides for the 18 missed calls I had recieved from Emilee. Not my top priority. I just stared out the window. Hoping time would slow down.
Then, I saw our car pulling off the road. On the shoulder of a road. Cars flying by. I couldn't help my self but ask. ""What are you doing?" I asked with a bit more tone than either of us expected. ""I was just about to ask you the same thing." Ryland said back to me. Clever. The Ryland I knew. He took off his belt and turned to me. Looked me straight in the eyes. Held my hands. "El, what's wrong? I mean you were so... you. At my grandma's. But, then we get in the car. And, you're like distant. So, what's wrong? Please, tell me." He practically just begged me to tell him. But, nothing was wrong. I had to dig with in myself to find something to say. I wasn't going to lie. But, this was how I wanted to feel. I looked down at the floor and started to say "I just don't want tonight to end. And I want to know where we're going. And I'm just attached to you, and you're siblings. They're so little and so small. And, I just want to be with you." I left that statement just for him to take his own way. When I looked up. Ryland was outside the car. Standing there taking off his shirt. On the shoulder of the road. With cars whizzing past. I opened my car door, and stepped to my safer side of the road. Walking in my heels had begun to hurt actually. ""What are you doing now?!" I asked worried and angry. I looked around and all I saw was a fence to a yard possibly. With enormous houses in the back round. No answer. He just looked me straight in the eyes as he ripped of shoes and socks and threw me his shirt. Where was he going? "Ryland! Where are you going?" I wanted to know where he was going. He simply walked over to a fence and climbed over it. On the other side, I saw Ryland reappear near the fence. His head on the top of it smiling. Only to be shown when cars drove by and lit up his face with their bright head lights. I didn't know where he wanted me to go. Where ever he was, wasn't where I thought he should be. But, even if what he was doing was illegal, I wanted to be where he was. With him. For now. And, even, forever.

Sorry it's been sooo long. School's pretty stressful so far. Let me know what you thought. Thanks!!

Monday, August 17, 2009

--> Chapter --> 13

I was slamming into the car door. Slamming into the consul over and over. Slamming into my own emotions. Which ranged from scared to excited back to happy. I was scared because I didn't know where I was going. Scared because, knowing Ryland, I was going to end up some where beyond crazy. I was excited because I was with Ryland. Alone, traveling to some where that was a surprise to me, now that was exciting. But, why I was happy couldn't be more obvious. There was no where in the world that I would rather be at the moment. Nothing could of made the moment better, except removing the dirty black rag, that smelled for Ryland's sweaty manliness, which doubled to shield my eyes from my whereabouts.

We were whipping around the streets. Like a speed demon or a racer on the track. As we turned a quick corner, the engine hummed to a stop. I felt like I could remove the blind fold now. And Ryland got out of the car. I was sitting there alone in the now cold car. I rubbed my hands on my arms to keep my self warm. I heard foot steps come to my door. And pull it open slowly. I had assumed it was Ryland, and he helped me out, slowly but surly, of the chum bucked we had rode in. I was still blinded from the world, as I was walking cautiously and slowly. I had begun to feel a little scared, but I trusted where he was taking me.The sultry voice came into my ears. "Now there's a step here. So, be careful. Woah, slow now girl." Ryland coasted me through the steps of my location. "Uh, El, you gotta wait here for a second," There was no way in my power that I could have predicted where I actually was, and I had begun to guess and try to figure it out. I could hear the key twisting in the door knob and the sounds of cartoons playing behind the door. Where had he taken me? To a play house? A carnival? And his voice disappeared along with his physical presence. I was beginning to shiver in the crisp air. Alone and not having my sight was starting to make me paranoid. What if he wasn't coming back? Was this his best attempt to ditch me? Sure, Ryland. Leave me in the cold. Real mature. I had to open my eyes, so I reached behind my head and undid the knot that secured the rag to my head. And when I opened my eyes, I couldn't believe where I was.

I looked around, I was at a home. Some one's house, I thought. I looked around the surrounding houses. Not, my neighbor hood to put it lightly. The houses were older models, and slightly run down. It wasn't the worst place I had ever been into. There probably won't be any gang bangers on the corner come night fall, and there isn't any girls standing on the corner. So, this area was slightly less affluent. But, I was still unsure why I was even here. I turned my head as the door had been opening. "Well, you cheated." Ryland said to me with a slightly smug and stern look on his face. ""Aw, Ry, um it wasn't on purpose, it was just 'cuz I was scared and," ""Okay, stop El. No need to worry at all. It's not that big of a deal, I promise. Just c'mon now cheater. There's some people I want you to meet." I had tried to explain myself, but I was interrupted by Ryland's reassuring nature beaconing me into the house. I stepped up into the foyer and handed him the rag. He playfully slung it over his shoulder and allowed me to pass him.

I looked inside the very comfortable home. A quaint home, at that. How warm and cozy. A great way to grow up. Cute actually, that was for sure. Little apple decals plastered along the walls. Family pictures lining the walls. And little figurines and candles flickering the night away on high shelves, away from little hands. I would love to have a grandma who lived in a house like this. A home, and a family to come home to. But, unfortunately all four of my grandparents were dead by the time I was three. Nothing I had really thought twice about until now. I looked down towards the lived in carpet of a sitting room filled with toys and saw six little kids all on a worn rug. The room was lovely, really. Not the million dollar overly extravagant golden rooms of my home, but the cute Home Depot's own paint colors. And the smell of baking cookies reminded me of a dream land of a faerie tale that I wished I had grown up in as a child. And drapes not picked by a high end designer, but a loving woman who wanted something easy for their family. "Uh, El. This is," ""Ryland!! Shh! Be quiet we're watching the tele!" Six little voices had screamed back at Ryland. Ryland had begun to introduce me to six adorable children, but who were they? The smart gears inside my head hadn't started to turn yet and register whom I was with and as, an elderly woman came out of the kitchen holding a plate I had begun to understand. "" Aw, good to see you sweetness. Ry boy, who is this nice young lady?" She asked as she set down the plate of sliced apples and peanut butter she had been carrying. "Little one's eat, Hi I'm Trudy, Ryland's grandma. On his mom's side. And you must be..." ""Elaina. A friend." I said with a smile on my face. Ryland had moved over to the little kids wrestling with the boys, hugging the girls making funny faces and noises. ""You didn't meet the kids did you yet? These are his little siblings. Almost four, my grand babies are growing up. Starting kindergarden soon." I could see the proud look in her eyes. ""Wow, how amazing it is to see how close they are." I replied to her introduction. I eyed Ryland as he rolled around on the floor. One boy on his head. Two girls, one on each leg. Another little girl, the smallest, hugging his abdomen. With the final two boys jumping around the couch. The older brother, and the love these little kids have for him. All the adoration, the only way to describe it was adorable.

""Ry boy, introduce your friend to all the youngsters." Ryland's grandma has prompted what I felt would be a long and awkward conversation. ""Alright Grams, El come over here," Ryland began. "This little munchkin is Ava," I looked at the little girl in an adorable pink dress, with two lighter brown pig tails in her hair. The same freckles and green eyes. An adorable little girl, with a breathing tube in her nose, but still the sweetest thing. ""Hi Ava, I'm Elaina." I said smiling. A shy one, she just smiled and burrowed behind Ryland as he began again, picking up a little boy this time. "This monkey, yeah that's right monkey, is Chase," Quite the wild one. All squirming around. His refreshing blue eyes, and bright smile paired with a shady blonde hair was quite cute. ""Hi there Chase, I'm Elaina." I said realizing I would say that four more times. As Chase ran away, Ryland reached for the next sibling. Another boy who was clutching crayons and markers in his hands. ""And here is the infamous Brayden," I looked down at the boy. Similar to Ryland. Only with again, an air tube in his nose. The hair, was quite similar. Only his had an ocean of waves paired with the same blues eyes as before. Lacking the freckles, he was still adorable as ever. I had noted the feeding tube, sticking out from his little monster truck sweater. "Brayden, nice to meet you. I'm Elaina." ""That's nice Elaina, I'm Brayden" The only response I had gotten from any of them so far, a little social butterfly I guess. As Brayden scurried off to go color some more, Ryland reached for a little girl, ""Rylandddd I was doing something!" As he dragged the girl, her hands smashed play dough into the carpet. "Oh wow, you're a handful," He said tickling the girl under her arms. Giggling filled the room and Ryland continued. "This menus is Talia, the difficult one, huh?" I looked at the beautiful girl. Long, dark, dark hair. The same ice blue eyes. A full lip and big eyes accented how gorgeous this four year old actually was. "Hey Talia, what a pretty name, I'm Elaina. And don't worry, I don't think your a menus." I said winking and eyeing Ryland, who stuck out his tongue at me. Only one more girl was left, and she came running up to Ry. Giving him kisses and hugging him closely. "The cuddle bug here is Shay." I looked down at the cord that was coming from her shirt. I heard monitor, I presumed. And I could almost hear her wheezing in the air. But, a stunning girl at that. Her dark curls shined in the light, with her green eyes, just like Ryland's. A cute girl too. All were cute. I remembered Ryland saying he had six siblings. I had only met five. He saw my concerned look and game me the one minute signal along with a wink. I looked concerned and I had tried to remember the last siblings name. Luke. He was autistic. I recalled that now. Ryland's grandma looked over at me and offered me something to drink, I had declined. ""You know, he's looking for Luke. That sweet heart goes off in his own little world," She had said smiling. Her wrinkles not showing her age, but her wisdom. "He likes to hide, and only Ryland really knows the top secret location." She finished. I sat down. Watching all the young ones play on the ground. Some girls pushing and shoving, fighting over a barbie. The boys running around. I saw Ryland approaching now, holding a small boy, as if he was a young baby. The boy clung to his neck and had his legs wrapped around Ryland's frame. Ryland sat down next to me on the couch. He just faced the boy next to me, who just stared. ""This is Luke," Ryland began. "He's a little shy, but he really wanted to meet you." I looked at the boy. Ryland's mini me. An exact replica. The same freckles, same hair, same kelly green eyes. A really adorable boy. Who was off in his own place. ""Well Luke, I'm Elaina. And I love your shirt with the leaves on it. It's awesome." He picked his head up and looked at me. Then burrowed his small face back into Ryland's neck. Ryland whispered something to him, and Luke ran off again. Ryland took my hand a told his grandma I had forgotten my phone in the car. He took me outside into the cold air. I looked around, actual stars had begun to appear at this time. I looked back into the house and Ry's grandma was plating dinner for the kids. A pasta dish, I thought I could smell from inside.

He led me to his car and we sat down inside. I did take my phone out of my pocket. Six missed calls from Em. Oh, well. Not important now. She'll just think I was with Grayer. "El, this means a lot to me. I wanted you to meet them. And I know this wasn't the extreme date you wanted, but there's more to come. My grandma watches the kids, and they go to bed soon. They just like when I eat dinner with them. And, I have something planned. But, would you mind to stay for macaroni and hot dogs? It's sort of a favorite." Ryland asked me with a look that was worried. I had no reason to say no and I wanted to stay. ""Of course I'll stay." I said with a smile. "'Okay, good. Let's go then. For the big dinner." Ryland hopped out of his side of the car and opened mine. He skipped into the house. I thought of what I had just met. Or who I had just met. Six little kids. Some sick, and some excited. All happy. I thought of Luke and his autism, and the others who had tubes here and there. The poor babies, what they had gone through in their young lives. A mother they hadn't met. A father who lost his job. And, a brother who loved them, in that regard they were lucky. ""Are you coming?" Ryland looked back at me from the front door. I was still standing in the drive way, emerged from the day dream. ""Yeah. Right now." I said as I came up to the door and entered the house.

We shared a cute dinner of macaroni with Ry's grandma and the six little ones. After a dinner of throwing pasta, squirming around, crying because their drink was empty, a room of laughs and a room of happiness despite what may go on, they kids were laying down and relaxing on the living room floor. Freshly showered in their pajamas. All snuggly with a blanket covering all six and a body pillow for their heads. A cute sight I hadn't really gotten to see. I wondered if my family had done this with my older siblings, probably. But not for me. I was the lone ranger. Ryland got up after the last little one had closed their eyes. Gave his grandma a kissed. As I followed her with a hug. We had left his grandmothers house. And Ryland looked over at me. "Let's get some real dinner." Ryland's mischievous smirk was so alluring. How could I turn that down?

Hope you like the chapter. Let me know what you all think. Thanks for taking the time to read it. I've got some more coming in the next couple days. Thanks again! Leave me some great comments, I love to read them.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Chapter... 12

The contours of Ryland's face glistened in the hot afternoon sun, which I had just ran all the way home in. I was immediatly self concious. What I sweaty? Did I smell? Is he going to think I look ugly? A flood of worry flowed over me.

"You look pretty smokin' there." Ryland said with a smirk. The worry eased off a bit. ""Um, I'm coming from the uh, gym," Hoping that would explain the pit stains and sweat brow. He took my hands and his and looked down at them. "Nice nails. Must of set you back though, look at that. Although, I do love a dark blue. But, El, do you always run to the so called gym, espcially when you went there with your friends. I saw you leave, remember?" I thought back to a few hours earlier. That was right. He was standing in my yard, working. I wanted to go away with him. I wanted to take his mind off of everything. And escape. To a world that was a tad less over whelming with a dash of less insanity. ""No, I wanted to see you." I said vunerably. Hoping the feelings were going to be reciprocated. I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket, chances wereit was Em. Asking where I was and why I left. I decieded then that I would tell her my mom called me. And needed me to watch my nephews, Christian and Bronne, while she took a freshly inpregnated Rochelle out for some quality mother-in-law and daughter-in-law bonding. I had almost forgotten I was standing there inches from Ryland. ""Well," Ryland started looking down at me. "It's good I have the rest of the day off. Because we're going somewhere." He said with a shine in his eyes. ""Where?" I asked a little less enthused than I should have been. ""Well, Miss Happy, somewhere special. So, go changed out of your yoga clothes," He had said to me while turning on his heels. "When you get back I'll be here. With my truck. Ready to go. By the way, wear something nice." He said as he walked away.

I ran around the back of the house. Up the balcony stairs and opened the glass doors. I went to my closet, relizing what nice things to I have to wear? How nice? What about my hair? I looked down at my floor. Realizing I had the perfect solution. Emilee's bag was on my floor. Most likely packed full with three outfits, all perfect for today. I opened up the duffle and saw a pair of straight leg jeans and a ruffly top. Not for me. I dug and found a cute day dress with a tie and she had attached jewlery with a bow to the strap. Again, not for me. Then, I found an edgy high waisted skirt, a studded tank, and a pair of chunky designer heels. Absolutely me. I laid out my newly found outfit and ran into my shower. I cranked the music up to escape the sound of my phone bussing on the bathroom sink. Emilee had called almost seven times. She would give up , I knew her. As horrible as it sounded, I didn't care. Today was about me. And I was aware of how selfish I was, but I couldn't bring myself to stop it. I had to chase what ever I had with Ryland, even if it had ment hurting the people who had always been there in the process.

I sprayed some light hairspray over my feshly flat ironed hair. Not a wave in sight. The outfit was pretty good on, and I hoped I looked as nice as Ry had wanted. I looked in the mirror at myself. The skirt, fit. The shirt, perfectly slouchy and all sudd covered. The heel's high enough to boost my 5'3'' stature to nearly a perfect 5'6''. I was excited. I looked down at my phone. Nine missed calls. My luck. I felt a pain in my side. I pressed the call button and saw Em's name appear on my screen. "Well, well, well, now you can answer." Em answered the call and I deserved that. ""Em, I'm sorry. My mom came and picked me up, I know shocker. She was watching Bronne and Christian. And, she needed me to take over. So, I had to leave. I'm sorry. But, you weren't done with your pedicure from hell. And, I couldn't find you. And, I shouldn't of just left, but I was stupid. Please forgive me?" I needed a deep breath after that rant. Again, with the lies. But, I couldn't deal with her right now, I had other emotions that were taking prority. ""Oh well, I get it. It's fine just you should of left a note for me at the desk, I didn't know where you were. But, I love Bronne and Chris want me to come and babysit with you? Hopefully, their dad will bring some high end food over for lunch, so what do you say? C'mon, El, everyone loves a good creme brulee." Well, not the answer I was expecting. I had other plans. So, I thought again, I needed another story. All my lies were begining to become tangled. ""Ah, Em, I wish I got your calls earliar. The boys just went down for a nap. And, I fed them already. I'm okay you know? Just hanging in the basement while they sleep on their cots. And my mom was sorta pissed for lettign you come in the middle of the night, so maye later? Right now's not so good." I crossed my fingers and hope that sunk in. ""Oh, alright. But, arn't you going on that date with Grayer later?!" She was so excited. I didn't know what to do anymore, except lie to her more. ""Oh, right. Yeah, that's today. So, I gotta plan for that too." My best attempt at excited. I looked up to see Ryland standing my balcony. Over looking the back yard. "Hey, Em, I gotta go. Bronne just woke up. He wants something. K? I'll talk to you later." And I hung up the phone.

I walked over to the glass doors. I swiped the curtains away and motioned for Ryland to come in. He looked amazing. Khaki's paired with a button down down shirt. He had showered recently, his hair was still wet. Cleanly shaven, he looked good. I was begining to question my outfit after all. He looked at me wide eyed. "You look amazing." Ryland said pressing a kiss into my cheek. ""As do you." I replied hoping to sound smooth. ""Do, you ever look at your yard or your house, or your closet and realize how good you have it?" Ryland asked me, looking a little deep for a date on the town. ""Um, yeah. I do. But, then I realize I'm standing alone in this house. So, it's not quite as good as it could be." I didn't think that was the answer he was looking for. "But, let's just go." I contined. ""Yeah, let's, uh, go." Ryland replied snapping out of his trance. He reached for my hand and we walked down the marble steps, slowly. I think he had just watered the schrubs in the area before he left. Spraying the marble. And wet marble plus three inch heels equals bad idea. Not the winning combination at all.

We reached the car. And I wasn't trying to sound high maitnence, but it was quite run down. Rusty, falling apart, and rickety. Not at all what I wanted to be riding in, but it was Ryland. So, I kept my month shut. "Um, welcome to the crap mobile." Ryland said while opening the door. Probably reading my mind, but the chilvary was appreciated. When the car was started, and we were backing out, Ryland passed me a rag. ""Thanks. It's nice." I told him lookind down at the grease stains. ""No it's not a gift. Cover your eyes." ""But, I want to know where we're going." ""Well, it's a suprise." And with that we were off. Driving to an un known location in a crappy car. Twisting and turning. I was almost feeling like I was about to gag. He turned up the music so loud that it was hard to hear myselft think clearly. Why were we not at a sit down dinner with a three course meal? I felt the car take sharp turns left and right. My body slammping against the door. Hitting the console with my elbow as I searched for a place to put my arm. This was not my idea of an ideal date, but here with Ryland, beat anything in my imagination.

Hoping you're all liking it. Of course, all the great twists are yet to come. I'm going to try to post a chapter every few days, because I start school this following week. So, let me know what you think. I love the comments.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

\\Chapter 11 //

I was sitting in my kitchen, the pungent smell of new construction woke me from my day dream, I trying to fathom everything that had just happened in the past six hours or so. First, Ryland and I sort of connected, which I was ecstatic about. I really did like him, and I hoped for more one day, but for now I think we could just get to know each other. Friends, a first step. Then about three hours later, my mom and I made up, I guess. From the past few years of hating, and not liking each other, to her giving me a necklace. I was happy about it, but she still needed to change herself before she would be truly happy, and if it meant leaving my father and his million dollar estate, so be it. That was how I felt about her situation at the moment, at least.

I looked up at the clock, eight. I had been sitting there for ever. Almost an hour. The Cheerios in my dish were now amorphous blobs of mush. Not the breakfast I had intended to eat. I got up and poured the soggy cereal down the drain of our industrial sized sink. I just stood there for a moment, and looked as the water I had turned on washed the cereal down. Thinking of all the feelings I has just washed away in the past night. I washed my anger at Ryland and a former like into a rekindling of what I thought could be more. And I scrubbed hard at the past feelings of absolute hatred for my mom. And I started to almost like her again, big step.

"Hi, when did you wake up?" I turned to see Em coming down the back staircase and walking towards me. She was goggly speaking after waking up probably a few minutes ago, and was rubbing her eyes. ""Hey um a few minutes ago," I didn't want to start any conversations with her I wasn't willing to finish, so I lied to her. Hoping she would never find out, which she wouldn't. "what time to we have to leave here for your class?" I asked her. Em looked over at the clock 8:14 a.m. ""Probably like ten minutes, so do you wanna like change?" She said looking down at my lime green frog pajama shorts, tank top, and fuzzy slipper combo. ""Yeah, that would probably be good." I smiled as I told her. We climbed the back stairs up to the second floor, where my room was located. I looked at her own outfit. A cute pair of yoga capris she probably bought special, and a fitted pink tank top. Her blonde hair was slicked back into a pony tail, and she had her day make up on. Yes, her day make up with Em everything is arranged specifically acording to time of day, location, and what she was doing. ""Ah, El, I forgot to tell you I had the weirdest dream, ever." ""What was it?" I asked not too enthused, but I knew she wanted to tell me. ""So, we were having a sleep over, and you snuck out in the middle of the night and didn't come back for an hour or so, and then didn't tell me where you were going or ask me to come or when you would come back." She said crossly. I knew by her comment, that she had found out. ""Em, I'm sorry, I wanted to tell you. But you were asleep. And, this morning, I wanted to wait till we left the house." I told her, trying to apologize as I put on the only yoga pants I had, most likely a pair of Emilee's, with a Franklin athletics shirt. Emilee didn't look too enthused. She wasn't so thrilled, and I didn't think she was going to accept my apology, right away. "Em, I'm sorry, I really am. Please, believe me. I don't know if you noticed, but my mom's actually home. And, I didn't want her to hear through the security camera's or the vents or anything. That I snuck out. Please, believe me?" She looked up from her seat on my bed, fiddling with the ipod I had put there last night. ""Yeah, El, it's fine. I just thought you'd wanna tell me. But, you can make it up..." She left the statement hanging in the air. ""How, Em?" I didn't want to hurt her, and she wasn't that dumb. She was just trying to be a good friend. ""Tell me where you went! I gotta know." She stood up and did her excited dance. ""Alright, in the car." We took my balcony steps down to her car. I saw the landscaper truck pull up as we were getting in. Great, Ryland's toned body stepped from the car. He nodded at me. I wasn't sure what that meant, but as Emilee backed out of our up hill drive way and pulled away, I was sad to see him disappear from sight. ""So, what happened?" Em asked in an upbeat tone. Her usual. I wasn't sure if I was ready to tell her. She had been the one to tell me a few weeks ago that a senior at our school, Grayer Thomas, had asked her about me. I was going to use it to my advantage. I wasn't ready to tell her about Ryland, and she didn't like him anyway. ""Uh, you remember Grayer Thomas?" I asked her. ""OMG. No way El! He's like super gorgeous and he's a senior, and he likes you! What happened? Spill it out, now!" She was so happy, I felt bad about how excited she was. ""Yeah, he is cute, but he was texting me for the past few days, and uh, he wanted to meet me outside. Go for a midnight swim in my pool, so we were swimming, and," ""Wait, you were swimming? When I was looking outside for you, there was no one in the pool. Unless I was so out of it, I didn't notice." She was throwing out a curve ball. I hoped she was believing it all. I was feeling like a really lame friend, but I couldn't tell her. "That's because we left the pool after just going in for a second, and made out on the hammocks by the plum trees...." ""Oh wow, El, that's so cute. I wish you would of told me. I would of done your hair or something. You should of said something!" ""I'm sorry Em. It was no big deal. That's all. I came inside after." With that, we were pulling into the Franklin Chateau Spa, where the yoga class was being held. We were getting out of the car, "El thats cute though. You should go on a date with him!" I was wishing that was me and Ryland. A date would be so cute. I would love it. But, here we were at the yoga class.

"Now move into battle pose" The overly skinny, flexible, perky host said and addressed the class. I was tired. More like exhausted from the previous night. And I needed to just go home. Why was I even here? Emilee, was the only reason,and if she knew I was lying to her she wouldn't really like that nor want me here. I was working myself into a frenzy and I wanted to stop everything and just catch up on my thoughts, or my songs, or Ryland. Anything but working on my fighting battle pose. ""I hate you for making me come to this." I said to Emilee with my head between my knees, bending myself into some sort of yoga pretzel. Hoping she'd feel some sort of deep remorse. Maybe I would make her miserable and she would just let me leave and go to the lounge and wait for her, then I would leave, and make up some sort of story of why I left. Again with the lies. It was like a tangled web. But, I didn't want to stop. ""Just breathe, you'll relax. Just like the instructor said. About fifty times El, breathe." Em snarled back at me. Doing her bends and twists perfectly. Some sort of yoga pro. After about another half hour of the bending over back wards in an attempt to relax, we found ourselves picking nail polish colors, that had seen their day, for our manicures and pedicures we had made appointments for. I find myself thinking which Ryland would like. Evan's colors are red and white, and he does play sports. But, he does wear a lot of dark blue. And his eyes are green. What about a pretty kelly green. Or would it look like fungus? Well how about a black. He's sort of a dark person. I'm caring what he thinks. He probably won't even notice. Why. Is. This. So. Hard? I couldn't keep Ryland out of my head. From the moment he got up and left, I felt horrible. I just wanted to see him. I don't want to be here getting my nails done, Ryland would hate it by the way. I just wish I could see him or he would text me. ""So, did Grayer text you or call?" Emilee asked. I could see the glimmer of hope in her ice blue eyes. Hoping that she was finally clued in on everything. Hoping I was excited to just hang out with her. Drama-free. Hoping that I was happier. Even though I was for sure not feeling any of the above. ""Yeah he did, I think we might go out, thanks for bringing me, by the way. It's really great to have some time with you. The yoga was... interesting. And, I'm having a lot of fun." I lied to her. I felt guilty for lying, again, but she couldn't know the truth. What she doesn't know won't hurt her. We were whisked away to our own areas of the spa, so it was impossible to talk while getting our nails done. Em texted me a few times and even a picture text of her nail tech. She was slapping her foot in the picture. Poor, Em she always winds up with these people. We've all been there once or twice. But, for Em it's every time she's in a spa. You know? The techs who are depressed, cynical, and upset in their own life, so they take it out on paying customers.

I was sitting in the pedicure chair for what felt like hours. The dark blue I had decided on looked pretty good with the contrasting white tip. I was still thinking about Ryland desperately. Wishing he was here. With me. Right now. I was beginning to worry about all the lies I had told Em. And all I wanted to think about was Ryland. I was becoming such a horrible friend, and I didn't' want to lose Em. I just didn't think I could tell her. "Done." My own nail tech had said to me. In a fancy thick accent. I went to the front of the spa, where the drying chairs were. I had my feet and hands under the light, and I was thinking about leaving. I stood up, grabbed my shoes and bag, and I opened the door. Realizing Em had the keys, I ran home. Actually ran. I was excited to see Ryland. I could not wait any more, Em would understand I would put it all on Grayer, he won't mind, he doesn't even know me. So, I continued my run. Brisk, hard, fast. I got to my drive way, and saw him. Raking leaves was never so fascinating. He looked up at me and waved, my heart practically stopped. He started walking towards me, and I was still catching my breath, for some reason I felt like I wouldn't be catching my breath for a while now.

Hope you all like it, I've been working hard. Trying to get in some good posts before school starts up. Let me know what you think, I love reading the comments. Thanks for reading!

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Chapter 10 **

I opened the french doors to my room quietly, not a peep could be heard. I was sure not to wake Emilee, who was laying on my chaise in the corner, as she slept. Still in that magnificent dream land of hers. I was jealous, that's for sure. I set my guitar down on it's shiny black patent stand. And while I strolled away, I looked over at it's woody wonder's. I was torn up inside, realizing that I had barely played more than a few cords. What was supposed to relax me ended up waking me up more and nearly plummeting me into cardiac arrest. But, then the flash of Ryland's strong jaw line smirking down at me while he told me of his past was the sweet candy coating of the bittersweetness I felt inside. That past moment with him was magical. I can't get over it. I never will. Forgetting is not an option. I really just understood how much I care for him, even though we may not have the deep connection, I longed for, I wanted to see him again. I wanted to share the happiness with him. All the joy, sadness, anger, smiles of my life, I wanted to share it all with him. A little deep, but this was our moment. Our time to reminisce together. It was simply perfect. Us, together, even at the park at 3 a.m. It was us. We were unconventional. Sort of like our lives. The thought of that, made me smile in my dark room.

I slipped off my sheep skin boots, and sat down on my bed. I looked down at the floor and noticed my i-pod's headphones sticking out from the under world beneath my bed. I grabbed the white i-pod and looked at what was on the screen. A song my brother Stephan had recorded. On his own violin. I remembered back to that day when the entire family drove up to Manhattan to get his own writings recorded. My mom had dressed us all to the nines. I was five, a young kindergardener who got to miss school for the big family outing. Of course, my dad was at his office. Doing business with whom ever it is that takes priority over us. But, the happiness that spread over my then eighteen year old brother, Stephan, as he stepped into the recording studio was amazing. Even to a five year old, it was evident how amazing and truly rare this experiance was. He recorded three songs, all composed by himself. The feeling of a new plastic CD in my small hands, fresh from the recording studio. All seven of my siblings were there for that. Albie met us, straight from the dorm at Harvard. Kierstyn took a cab to be there. That was a big step up for her, at the time. Luckily, she was able to pencil us in and squeeze us between shows. Everyone else was still living at home, so we were all in the family limo that daddy had rented for the day. His one act of kindness. The day was magical. An overcast over the city, but we were all smiling. As we sat down to a fancy lunch, the portions that were teeny. We had to stop at Mcdonald's on the way home to fill all of our stomachs after. We laughed the entire way home, a family. Minus a father.

When we arrived home, the bills from Daddy's last business trip were on the counter. A trip to Miami, that was not announced well in advanced. A high end hotel. Pictures of him with other women. All obviously not for little eyes, I was whisked to my play room, but I watched my mother as she opened the bills. Receipts for jewelry she hadn't received, flowers that weren't given to her, champagne for two that she didn't share with him. All the evidence was there. That was my dad's beginning to a long chain of mistresses. My mom's drinking began that night, I think it was three bottles of wine. That continued on to be a Saturday night ritual for her. Of course, she didn't say anything to Daddy. Being in a miserable marriage, for her, is better than not being in one at all. Not the picture perfect family behind the marble doors, huh?

I snapped out of my flash back, and into the abysmal reality of my room. Dark, quiet, lonely. I wanted to just be with my siblings in that moment. We rarely all were together, nor got along, but at that moment, it felt like I needed family. I stood up, again quietly and swift, walked to my closet and twisted the knob shut, careful to keep Em asleep. I slipped on some new pajamas. And continued to crawl into my bed. The soft sheets now seemed inviting. Maybe I could reach the goal I had been aiming for, sleep. I closet my eyes. Thought of my family, Emilee, mostly Ryland though. My day dream, or should I say 4 a.m. dream, had interupted the high I felt from being with him. Fate had created that moment. And, I hoped to continue it in my sleep.

Around six in the morning, I heard a crash come from the kitchen. A whopping two hours of sleep, lucky me. I got up ever so quietly, yet again, and crept to my glass door. I twisted the one of a kind crystal knob gently, so no creak would dare make it's sound. Emilee was sleeping, just what I had hoped. Yoga wasn't till nine, and I wanted a few moments to myself. I took the back stair case down. I was faced by our formal living room. The extra high walls were lined with photographs of our childhoods. Naomi's missing teeth. Josh's first cook book. Bella's first dance shows, followed by the ones on Brodway. Logan's debate team, and his Realtor firm. Kierstyn's glamor shots. Albie's acceptance to Harvard. Stephan's first CD we made that one afternoon. My own macaroni art, a preschool creation. Surprised my mom saved that one, it didn't quite match up to the others, but it felt nice any way. You know to be remembered? I saw pictures from the early seven children at the lake, and all eight of us in Aspen two winters ago, summers on the island. My families past all up on a wall. I heard a slam and turned to see the kitchen light on. Who was there, at nearly six a.m.? I entered our show room of a kitchen to see my mother. In heels, a short dress, hair messy, makeup smeared. An all-nighter, that was a new one.

"Hi, mom." I said. Reaching for the cereal out of the pantry. She picked her head up out of her hands. Looked over to me. Studied me, and said ""Hi, Ellie cakes," She hadn't called me that since I was little. It felt good. "I couldn't begin to tell you what went down last night. But, I got you something." She continued and pointed to her designer hand bag which was artfully thrown down to the floor. ""You did?" I was suprised. "In there?" I was anxious now. That was the nicest thing she's done in a long time. Along with her writing her name on the card that came with my car on my sixteenth birthday. I opened the heavy black bag and searched around. ""It's the Tiffany's box. The blue El. It's for you. I noticed you were down since your accident," I thought back to that day two weeks ago. I touced the now fading stiches on my eye and arm. "And when I was partying last night with Mary," My aunt. "I got you it." She finished. Her words were in a slur, she was obviously groggy from a long night. Her drinking didn't bother me in that moment. Nor was her selfish and arrogant attitude. All had melted in one conversation. I pulled out the blue bag with a gold chain paired with two golden rings on the chain. Intertwined. It was actually beautiful. Good for a drunk night out. ""Thanks mom, it's really really nice. I like it a lot. It's really symbolic. Of everything. So, it's great. Thanks." I said sliding the gold chain back into the blue bag. My mom was crying now. Why? I walked over to her and put an arm on her back. "Ma, what's wrong? Didn't you hear me? I love it!" She was shaking. What could be wrong? ""I want my husband back. How can't he love me for me. Look at me Ellie doll, I'm hot." I smiled down at her. "'You are mom. I agree." I hugged her. Remebering when I would do this as a child. "Mom, why don't you leave him? You deserve better. You don't need him. I want the best for you, and why does he do this?" All of a sudden, the hatred I had built up for her, vanished. She was still a tad selfish and rude, of course. But above all, she's my mom. I felt bad. ""I just can't Elaina. I need him, and I love him." I stood there and shook my head. ""Well, if you need me to help, I'll put you up on millionaires dating sites." I said jokingly. She smiled. The oh so familiar, once youthful and georgeous smile. ""I better go change. I saw Emilee's car out front. I don't know if this is a good motherly hostess look." She said refering to her stripperish heels and skanky dress. ""Yeah, mom. I love you and you need to make yourself happy. If changing our life will do it, then I support you." I took a plunge of faith. Hoping that was okay with her. The click of her heels made a song on the floor. As she reached the main stairs, she took a hold of the banister, it was clear she was still unsteady, one too many shots, and said back genuinely "I love you too, but I don't know if I can ever find the strength to break free. I need that life for you. It wouldn't be fair." She replied with tears in her eyes. I felt like I had broke that fence. I actually understood her. For the first time.

Let me know how you feel... Too much? Hope that you all still got that this was still her and Ryland's moment. But, a twist to it too. I've got more coming. But, let me know still how you feel. I'm sorry if it ruined her and Ry's moment...

Thursday, August 6, 2009

(: Chapter 9 :)

I rolled over on my down comforter which had been tossed all over my bed. I think it was a hundred degrees. I was moving back and forth just struggling. I was no where near nodding land, and there was no where I was going to sleep anytime soon. Was I sweating? I think so, and I couldn't sleep in the near future. I got up to look at my thermostat. 69 degrees. Far colder than the rest of the house. I continued by looking down at my phone and clicking the main menu. Prompted by the slide bar, I did as I was told. A fat 3:38 was staring back at me. Emilee was asleep. Breathing lightly and she was probably off in a dreamland I only wished of. I thought of my options at that moment. I could walk down to the kitchen, grab some thing to snack on or just get fresh air. But, that risked me either setting the security alarm off or having to see my mom. I was having a hard time deciding which was worse. So, I simply got up and grabbed my guitar. My get away wrapped in a wood casing. I hadn't played since Ryland came around. I wish I had though, but I truly needed to. I figured no one was outside at this time. And the park wasn't too far. I practically grew up there anyway from swings to flings. So, inspiration was evident there. I just grabbed my worn down sheep skin boots and a sweatshirt. I looked in my bathroom mirror. The silk sleeping shorts, a Franklin Crew Team hooded sweatshirt, messed up hair, and boots was a interesting look, for sure. But, who cared? No one I needed to impress was anywhere near me this at three a.m. adventure.
I just took my balcony steps out of the yard. I grabbed the gate handle and looked down at the black metal. No one would be out, right? So with my guitar strapped over my shoulder, I just strummed some old pieces. Em and I used to write songs. With the basic cords of course, we always said we'd travel the world and be famous celebs and name our kids Pot and Pan, like classic best friends. It was a fantasy I wasn't sure would ever come true. We had just began to spread apart lately, and I didn't want that. But, my guitar kept those thoughts from easier times away from me. The acoustic love felt warm. Pouring over me like a hot bath. Almost like an old shoe you found in the back of your closet. Fitted. Perfectly. Safe.
I approached the park. No one. Not a soul. I didn't think any one would be here, but the satisfaction of being alone was just southing. I strummed my fingers over the worn strings. I just stopped and looked down. Thinking about nothing else but Ryland, wasn't good karma for my guitar playing. I was battling over the ever so present question was why am I so mad.Why had I let him get close to me. I just felt like I had trusted him. Even for a short period. I barely had gotten to know him. Just the personal family junk, I guess, couldn't that have been enough? And we had kissed on my bed! A little intimate. But, why did I feel like I had missed out on something. Why did I feel like a kid who didn't get what they wanted for Christmas? But more often than not, I couldn't say I felt this down often about anything. It was all for the one guy who ran out on me. See? There it was right there. I didn't know him, how I wished I did anyways, and I felt like he owed me something more. But still, why?
I looked up from my train of thought to see a dark figure moving towards me. How peachy. Of course it was me, that was just my luck. Fear began to set in and I took a deep breath to attempt a calm down before a panic storm arose. I looked over to see a guy walking towards me. Great. If I was going to be kidnapped or something worse, at least I had my guitar for protection. What was I thinking? I was in the beginning of a freak out. I stood up and started to fast walk. A slight jog was forming. "Elaina, wait. Please!" That voice. The rustic smooth voice. Ryland. No. I was not doing that now. I just turned back around and slowed the walk down. Almost as if I wanted him to catch me. "Elaina, please. Just listen." He begged. ""How did you find me here? Stalking me, again. Because I'm not up for you to just run away now?" I asked. Concerned and just done, or so I thought. ""Just look. that's not it at all. And I was outside too. Sort of an insomniac, I guess. But, I was walking, um, by your house. Heard the guitar. And came here. I'm, I just. I don't know. And, there's just something, but. You know more about my family than nearly anyone, at all. But there's more to me that you don't know." ""And you think that will just make me forgive you? ""No, I'm not saying that. At all. I just wish that-" ""Wish what Ryland? That you could of ran out earlier? I could of understood if you had to go, and I didn't think we were going to stay forever together and live happily ever after. But, running out?" "'No El, that's not it." ""El. Don't call me that." Why was I so mad? All my feelings were just pouring out. All I could think of was when Mom used to call me El when I was little and would push me in the swings, bake cookies, teach me tennis, all while referring to me as El or Ellie. A mother thing. I guess. ""I'm sorry, but. I really am attracted to you," Now standing near me. About an arm length. Attracted did I just heard that? He was attracted to me. Were my knees a little weak? Was I blushing? I just wanted to be back in my room at that moment. The feelings of anger sort of left. That moment was just melting and playing out perfectly like an ice cream cone on a hot July day. I was beginning to let myself go there again. Dig up the hatchet and find those feelings I just discarded. "But, Elaina. It's just, I can't avoid you. I know that. But, there's something. I just couldn't be with you. You know that. Your life, luxuries and cars can't even start to compare to my family that's lives nothing compared to you. And I'm your employee. Isn't there some rich girl thing about even talking to a guy like me? You have to get that. And understand. Can't you?" I thought of what he said. I looked around. At the street lights. With the flies swarming around the lights. Did he think I was like in love with him or something? Who was he to sit there and judge me like I was some stereotypical snob? ""No, Ryland. I can't understand. Because I thought you listened and I get you don't know too much about me personally, maybe my siblings, but not me. But, you could get from talking to me for, eh, five fucking seconds, that I wasn't like that. And you just sit there and accuse me. Yes, Ryland I do like you. And Yes, it could work out if you didn't want that just say it." With that statement I turned on my heels. Only to be pulled back into his arms. Greeted by a kiss. Absolutely wonderful. He's just the one who knows when to go at it. It was a heel popping kiss. The kind you would never forget. Why was I here setting myself for anger and frustration again? But I couldn't stand to move away. This was where I could control. And I hoped this was for the best. I pushed away off of Ryland's chest. And laid my head down on his shoulder and wrapped my arms around his neck. Breathing slow and thinking about how this moment couldn't last forever. Even if I tried. We walked hand in hand back to my balcony. Talking about what I thought was ourselves. ""When I was seven, I started playing rugby." Ryland started "It kept me from being to upset like the whole only child thing which really bothered me. Like therapy type stuff, and I really loved it from the start. I couldn't wait to get to high school to be on the team. But when I was eleven, my mom used the in vitro, and got pregnant. Which I was happy about. But she found out it was six. Six babies. It was unbelievable. We were being interviewed. The newspapers called after her check ups. It was like we were famous. Locally at least. But when she had the babies. And she, uh, died," He was breathing hard. Troubled memories I thought. I just stroked the side of his hand, as I held it tight. "My dad couldn't pay the bills. The kids were just so sick. So small. He had to sell his practice. He was a foot doctor. Sort of weird, but we were happy. So, that's how I got here," Ryland said as he looked around my yard. Where we had magically arrived. ""Well, we'll have to continue this later." I said hoping he wanted the same. "Well, we'll have to see." Ryland said kissing the tip of my nose. I felt butterflies floating around my stomach. I was happy. The guitar walk had ended happily. His answer was a little indefinite, but I knew what he had meant, or I thought and hoped I did. ""Okay, well this was fun." I said blushing "But, Em's inside and I gotta get inside. Cuz it's going to be a little early when we get up." ""So, um I'll get going...unless you want to give me something." Ryland said hinting. ""Well here's a hug." I smiled and hugged him. "Okay, well now I'm really going." I said heading up the stairs. I couldn't believe that I had gone from an almost abysmal hatred of a guy I barely knew, to a re kindling of an attraction to a better understanding. Or what I thought was.

Liking it? Let me know please by commenting. I'm trying so hard, and I really want to know your thoughts and feelings. Think it could be a future novel or just a short story? I've got some twists coming. Only one person knows and the same person gave me some inspiration. They know who they are. So, I'd like to thank them =] Thank you all though, for taking the time to read this!